At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
