I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He did a backflip because drugs
we should paint friendship bongs
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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