Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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