The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize