Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize