No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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