READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
