strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think your dad took our porno
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
