We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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