We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
