yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
