and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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