how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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