Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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