I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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