So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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