clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
