I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
