I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize