You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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