time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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