I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
