I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His hands were made for my vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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