the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
