the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
