i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
