We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I looked at my own cervix.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
