i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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