Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
