I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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