I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
