I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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