It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
