i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
