Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
last night I used snow as a chaser
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
