why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize