How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
