I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize