the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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