i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
