no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
