so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
