On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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