Will you blow on my dice?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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