is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
