I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
