You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
