I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
