Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
