Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
