So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I won the penis lottery.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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