we're blogging at a bar
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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