i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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