Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
