There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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