what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
