I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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