id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
