College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
