True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
