Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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